The Internet Versus Me

I can't even begin to imagine what Mr. Fantastic can do with his tongue

It can be awfully, awfully hard for me to compliment anyone. I am one of those kids who never met their full potential. Fortunately, my potential was always minuscule: My parents merely hoped I would make a good rat-catcher, or perhaps that I would efficiently find glass bottles in other people’s trash.  Unfortunately, all I do is take, take, take, while giving nothing back to society. Sorta like a mosquito, or your dog.

Therefore, I prefer to berate and blame others for my low station in life, instead of giving them the credit that they deserve. So it is with profound hesitation that I must compliment someone’s band. They are called “The Dualies.” They have all my favorite characteristics. Low-bit sounding beats and synths. Dancability. Good melodies. I would use some phrases like “fucking amazing” or “my favorite band this year,” but let’s not get carried away here. I had to wake up before 1:00 today.

I do not totally recognize what the girl singer – Vivian – is saying. However, from what I can tell from their song titles, her songs are about not getting laid as much as she would like. “Unrequited,” “You don’t even know my name.” You get the idea. Their other song (yes, they only have 3, from what I can tell) is called “When you are Near.” I imagine that whenever he or she is near, there is still a noticeable lack of rubbing and grunting. Pretty sure I heard the word “tears” somewhere in there. Not sure what the deal is, since she’s the singer of an awesome band. Seems like she should get laid more often.

Also, I have no idea what the name of the band could possibly mean. I guess groups of pairs, or people in pairs? Too much math altogether, if you ask me. Anyway, you can download their 3 song ep for free. Very exciting.

01 You Don’t Know My Name

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Music by Ricky