The Internet Versus Me

In my last post, I complained about how hard it is to compliment bands that I like. It had to do with self-esteem, and is very complicated. Sometimes, however, it’s easy to see why the compliments don’t come easily.

I like this band “Standard Fare.” It is frankly kind of embarassing to admit this, because their name has got to be one of the worst band names in the history of naming bands. Who would ever want to go see a band named “Standard Fare?” It is like naming your band “Medium,” or “Just Another Band,”  “Nothing to See Here,” or “No Big Deal,” etc, etc (I cannot believe, while putting in links, that those are all actual names of actual bands). What they need are some exclamation points, or maybe little stars or hearts somewhere. Or maybe just an entirely different name altogether.

Unfortunately, their language problems don’t end with their name. My fav song of theirs, for example, is called “Philadelphia.” It starts off great! “Global warming is getting me down.” I think that’s a nice lyric because it’s understated, and kindof accurately describes the amount of emotion that people feel about the cataclysmic, humanity-destroying catastrophe that’s slowly unfolding while we eat nachos and watch Hulu.

And it is a pretty good song. Almost my favorite of theirs. There is a fun chorus, with good melodies, etc. A clever use of the awkard, elongated (five whole syllables!) word that is “Philadelphia.”

Unfortunately, there are all kinds of problems with the lyrics. Apparently, it isn’t “in [his] nature” for her fuck buddy to travel to visit her in the UK, and yet he’s spending all this time in Israel. First of all, why are we talking about Israel? It’s a total tangent. And secondly, Israel is an evil, vicious, bloodthirsty country that should be wiped off the map. He is “having a good time” there. Doing what? Burying Palestinian children under piles of rubble? Dodging rocket attacks? Just kidding. I love Israel (I hate Jews, however).

hate that theyre not in my bedroom, i mean!

This weird off-ramp is too specific to be accidental. It’s obvious that this song is about an actual guy, and an actual relationship, which makes me feel all icky whenever I listen to it. Especially since it seems obvious that he wants nothing to do with her. He’s probably totally disturbed that she wrote a whole song about him, and got her friends to play guitar to this story about a transcontinental stalking.

Another good song of theirs is called “Dancing.” It also has its flaws. Specifically, the best part of the song – the chorus – is also the shortest. There is all this dicking around, and then finally like 7 seconds of the awsome part, and then a bunch more dicking around. I suppose the “dicking around” bits are pretty good too though.

This is, however, pretty symptomatic of the band: really good parts, followed (or preceded) by merely ok (or even bad) parts. The good parts are good enough, though, for it to be worth a listen, or two, or twenty.

But yeah. Um… You should check it out. Honestly. For real.

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Music by Ricky