The Internet Versus Me

The monkey is pretending to laugh so that it can get its fangs in biting position

I am very funny. You, however, are not funny at all. What to do? It can get awkward when you are laughing hilariously at everything I say, especially when you are so boring. It’s important for me to pretend you’re funny every once in a while. That is why the mouse gods invented fake laughter. Let’s go over some oft-used fake laughs.

1. the “i don’t understand anything you are saying” fake laugh

I hate accents. They make me sick. Concentrating on not vomiting can make it hard to pay attention to what people are saying. However, since I am a worldly, cosmopolitan man, it is important for me to act like I understand all dialects.

Fortunately, about 70% of what people say is a “joke.” You can tell they’re joking because they laugh after they talk. Sometimes they just give a clever smile. This usually works out good for me.

However, sometimes people give you a “clever smile” because they want to touch you, naked, while they are also naked. This is burdensome for me because I am so handsome, and looking upon my fleshy nakedness is like gazing into the eyes of God Himself. So sometimes people get the wrong idea when I giggle at their sleazy looks.

Also, many immigrants are vile racists, and you might accidentally laugh at some racist joke about Azbekis or whatever. Although in that case it would be fine, since Azbekis are murderous pedophiles.

2. the “I want to bone you” fake laugh.

As stated above, I am easily the funniest guy you have ever, or will ever, me(e)t. Sadly, however, sometimes even the greats have off days. Occasionally I am not funny, and a homely girl is still laughing at my jokes, even though they are all stupid. Then I look in the mirror, and am (once again) shocked at how attractive I am. I suppose it is not all that surprising that ladies would like to have their offspring be as chiseled as I.

I’ll go over some more in my next post. Busy Busy!

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Comedy by Ricky