Fucking White People
some white people, clearly annoyed at me for taking a picture while they were making their important Art. You know, that guy w/ the camera kind of looks like me, if I had better posture. And a camera. Or friends.
Earlier, tonight, I was having a hard time plucking out my toenail hairs, because of the shakes. So I gave in and went to the liquor store. There were some people outside. I assumed they were going to try to “bum” some change off of me, and was getting ready to tell them that I had no money. Also, I was trying to figure out what my excuse was for going to a liquor store, since apparently I had no money.
But then the funniest thing happened. These people were young artist types, doing their artisty things in the liquor store. Holding expensive things, looking fancy. I should be asking them for money! Anyway, I was/am opposed to this behavior taking place in this establishment. Here’s why:
1. The phoniness.
This singess/songwritess was doing some kind of country thing. I didn’t stick around to watch, because I hate music. However, were I to guess, I would say her song has to do w/ whiskey, bourbon specifically. Hard times. Hard drinkin’. What it’s like when your only friend is a bottle. Whether or not you can see your tears when they fall in your whisky. The saltiness of your whiskey, once it has been spiked with tears.
That’s why it’s at a liquor store! But in fact, I am never seeing these snooty college types buying whiskey there. If her song was about, say, the ironic sweetness of Arbor Mist (since you only drink it when your life is sour), then that would be cool. Of course, I suppose it could be about Arbor Mist, since I was too much of a jerk to, you know, actually listen to the music. Or ask them what the band was called. Or if I could take a photo.
2. The sheer terror of the thing
The liquor store I go to has bulletproof glass everywhere. That’s because it’s a place where people bring guns to. Why? To rob people! When I go there, I don’t bust out my laptop, or talk loudly about my stock portfolio or what my mother’s maiden name is. I also do not bring my 5,000 camera there, or my guitar. Or my expensive microphone w/ accompanying boom holder thingie.
And plus, it can be kind of scary making music video things. You have to look pretty, and not mess up. That can be hard when you are afraid of getting robbed. Or when a leacherous drunk is staring at you. On the flip side, it is actually pretty fun being leacherously drunk, and staring at nervous rich people, while sharpening your knife.
3. All of the loud, drunk people
Maybe that’s part of the “charm?” People yelling through 2 inch glass about Cognac?
4. Me, distracting you
Taking pictures. Asking you questions while right in the middle of filming. You know what actually I think this might fit under #3. I am just running out of ideas here.
Discuss.
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